Men ...

How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
At the circus, the clowns don't talk.

What makes men chase women who they have no intention of marrying?
The same instinct that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off of his neck.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened.

Why are men like floor tiles?
If you lay 'em right the first time, you can walk on 'em for years.